How Should I Respond to My Girlfriend’s Pregnancy?

“I’m pregnant,” she said.

Your heart fell to your stomach as your emotions took an involuntary rollercoaster ride. Perhaps you felt angry and yelled, gave your girlfriend the silent treatment, or muttered a quick, half-hearted, “You take care of it” or “Let’s do whatever you want.” 

But as you continue to process, you realize you might need outside input on responding to this life-altering information. 

Give Yourself Time

You don’t have to know what to say or do right away. It is okay to process the information by yourself for awhile. 

Talk Honestly About Your Feelings

Running away from your feelings won’t help anyone. It is okay to admit that you are scared or upset. You may also be thinking, “I don’t want to lose her, but I don’t want to have a child right now.” But, when sharing your feelings, you must also ensure you are not taking out your anger on your girlfriend. Find healthy outlets for your concerns– running, hiking, lifting weights, journaling, etc. 

Don’t Blame Her

Asking questions like “How did this happen? makes it seem like she made a mistake by getting pregnant. Remember, you are both equally responsible for the pregnancy. Whether she was using birth control or the condom failed, it doesn’t matter. 

Blaming someone won’t undo the pregnancy. Try and use “we” language. Saying, “We can do this” or “We can talk to our parents together” helps her feel supported. 

Figure Out Your Relationship Later

You might not know if you want to commit to being with your girlfriend forever. You might not even know her that well, or maybe you were thinking of breaking up before this happened. 

Take a deep breath. You don’t have to figure it all out at once. You can still support your girlfriend and be there for her, even if you don’t know where the relationship is heading. Just take one step at a time.

Don’t Rush Her Into a Decision 

Don’t pressure or rush her to make a decision about her unplanned pregnancy. It is worth taking time to research all of your options thoroughly. 

Some questions that the two of you should be asking together include:

What are the risks of abortion?

Can we afford the abortion costs?

Would adoption be a better choice for us?

Could we choose adoptive parents for our child that would give him/her the life that we can’t?

Is parenting or co-parenting an option for us?

Schedule Free Pregnancy Services

Before making any pregnancy decisions, schedule an appointment at Boston Center for Pregnancy Choices for free pregnancy services. We provide free pregnancy tests and referrals for an ultrasound to verify the pregnancy. 

You and your girlfriend have pregnancy options. We can provide accurate information on abortion procedures, side effects, and potential risks. In addition, we can talk about the pros and cons of making an adoption plan or parenting. At Boston Center for Pregnancy Choices, we can answer any questions about pregnancy, abortion, adoption, or parenting. We are here to help you! Call today or schedule your confidential appointment online.

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