If your pregnancy test recently came back positive, you probably have several fears rushing through your mind. It may be difficult to think about the future because you are worried about your parents’ reaction to your positive pregnancy test.
These fears are normal, but it is important to acknowledge that fear-based decisions are often the worst decisions we can make. To make the best choice amid a big decision, we need two things. We need the facts about the situation, and we need other people around us to support us.
The truth is, your parents’ support during this time can really help. This can feel like a daunting conversation, especially if you aren’t sure how your parents will react. Telling them may be one of the hardest things you do, and they may be upset. You will get through it, and they will get through it too.
One of the most damaging things you can do to yourself is to conceal the truth. Honesty is a gift that you give to yourself because it relieves you from unneeded stress and anxiety. Be honest with your parents. Let them express their emotions. Express that you love them and that you need them during this time.
Here are five tips for helping you navigate this important conversation.
1. Be timely as you start the conversation
Even though you feel nervous, it’s better to have this conversation with your parents sooner rather than later. This will help you know as soon as possible whether they’re supportive of the pregnancy or not. The earlier you choose to inform your parents, the more time you will have to explore all of your options and make the best decision.
Tell them soon, but speak to them in a private, comfortable place. Pick a time where your parents aren’t preoccupied with other responsibilities. This conversation deserves time and attention. They may feel blindsided by the news, but setting the atmosphere properly will grant a better probability for a more productive conversation.
2. Plan out your words
Every difficult conversation can be stressful to think about, but one of the best ways to cultivate confidence is to plan out the things you want to say. When making the plan, it is important to be honest, vulnerable, and humble. Additionally, it is important to also share exactly what you want with your parents. Do you want to parent? Is adoption a decision you’re weighing? Are you considering abortion?
Communicating the things you are thinking and the things that you want will allow your parents to partner with you during this decision-making process. Above all, you need people who love you to surround you throughout this process. When you tell them your thoughts and what you want, they can more effectively position themselves to partner with you.
Our team is trained to inform you about all of your options, as well as offer free pregnancy tests and ultrasound referrals. Our goal is to help you feel empowered as you make your pregnancy decision. We believe that you are strong and capable of making the best decision for your situation, and we believe that your fears can be alleviated through understanding the facts about pregnancy and confirming your pregnancy through a test and ultrasound.
3. Bring a friend or your partner
If you feel overwhelming anxiety about the conversation with your parents, or you potentially fear that the conversation could turn hostile or violent, it is best to bring a trusted friend or partner into the room. It is always best to prioritize personal safety if there is any cause for concern. When you bring another person into the room, it is likely that your parents will respond with less emotion and more practicality.
4. Be straightforward from the beginning
Fight the temptation to speak around your pregnancy situation. Go into the conversation while being intentional and clear about your positive pregnancy test. Share with them how you feel, and share with them the options you are contemplating. It is important to be practical when you think about how to open the conversation. Here are a few ideas for you to consider:
- I hate that I may disappoint you because I love you both, but I’m pregnant.
- Mom and dad, I took a pregnancy test and found out I’m pregnant.
- I have some difficult news to share: I just found out I’m pregnant.
- I’m afraid you may be upset with me, but I need to tell you something important.
Plan out what you want to say and how you want to say it ahead of time. Think about how they might react and take that into consideration as you plan what you need to say.
5. Allow your parents to process at their own pace
Humans are emotional creatures, and often, it is difficult to predict how emotions affect us. For our parents, it may take a bit of time for their heightened emotions to calm down before they are able to communicate clearly with you.
Prior to stepping into the conversation, remind yourself that the conversation could become loud or stressful. They may yell or shout. They may give you the silent treatment. They may say things they later regret. Although it is much easier said than done, do your best to understand their words are a product of their heightened emotions. Remember how you felt when you found out you were pregnant, and know they’re feeling strong emotions about it, too.
I’ve had the conversation. Now what?
After your conversation, if your parents are still struggling, don’t panic. We can help. There are free resources available to you and your parents as you navigate your unplanned pregnancy.
You can schedule another appointment to talk with us and can bring your parents with you if they’re willing and if that would be helpful. We’re here for you!
To talk with someone, contact us to schedule a free appointment today.