Do I Have to Tell My Partner I Want an Abortion?

Do I have to tell my partner I want an abortion?

The simple answer is “no,” you don’t have to tell your partner you want an abortion. But nothing about an unplanned pregnancy is simple. It’s a life-altering event. Before making a decision, talk with us about your situation. We’re here for you. 

Consider These Questions First:

1. Are you afraid to tell your partner?

Your safety is essential no matter who you tell about your pregnancy. If you are afraid for your mental and/or physical security, you need to speak to a trusted family member or friend first. 

No one should have the power to harm you. Contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 to get immediate help. They can provide tips for leaving an abusive relationship.

2. Do you want to keep your pregnancy a secret?

Often women think if no one knows about their unplanned pregnancy, they can pretend it never happened. Terminating your pregnancy by abortion is a major medical decision. There are definite side effects and potential risks you should be aware of. 

The physical and mental consequences of abortion might make the secret more challenging to keep. By not telling your partner, especially if you are still together, you have to hide any negative reactions. You need to be able to live as your true self.

3. Will your partner not want you to get an abortion?

There are options for your pregnancy, besides abortion, such as creating an adoption plan or parenting. It’s always good to have a choice, but none are easy to make. They all involve loss of some kind, yet there may also be gains associated with these alternative options. 

It’s important to hear your partner’s thoughts on your pregnancy and final decision. Listen closely to them. You may be surprised at their answer. Perhaps you can consider working with your partner to place your child for adoption. Together, you may select the family that will raise them. 

4. Would you want to know if your partner was getting an abortion?

Think about how you would feel if the tables were turned. Would you be angry that you weren’t told? Would it make you sad that your partner didn’t include you in the final decision?

Everyone’s input is valuable. Give your partner the courtesy of knowing what you are thinking. It may help you to make a confident, empowered decision.

How We Can Help

Are you familiar with abortion procedures, side effects, and potential risks? If not, schedule an appointment with the Boston Center for Pregnancy Choices. We can give you factual information that can help you.

Verifying your pregnancy with another pregnancy test and ultrasound is also important. We provide free pregnancy tests and referrals for an ultrasound scan. 

You don’t have to handle your unexpected pregnancy alone. We are a safe, non-judgmental place where you can open up and ask questions. Let us help you today.

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